All My Problems Are Behind Me: A True Story

When a simple insurance call turns into a full-on howl fest.

My gosh….

While planning a wedding, there are SO many things you might expect to worry about: Costs, RSVPs, centerpieces, where to seat the in-laws, maybe a dress fitting gone wrong…

But you don't expect to end up laughing so hard with an insurance agent that you both nearly pass out.

Today, I called a new agent (recommended by my home-and-auto guy) to request a certificate of insurance for our upcoming reception. And, while I had him on the horn, I wanted a quote for Errors & Omissions (E&O) insurance for my two writing businesses.

After a few pleasantries, the new agent and I got down to the wedding details and built out that quote. Smooth sailing.

Then, we moved on to business.

“I actually have two businesses,” I explained. “So I’ll probably need two policies?”

“No problem,” he said. “What’s the first business, and what does it do?"

“Writers’ Haven LLC. This is my writing consulting business. I’m a developmental editor and memoir coach. I also teach workshops and courses, and I facilitate expressive writing retreats.”

“Got it,” he said. “What’s the second business?"

“My other business is for my own writing, like my books, my Substack, and my paid columns and articles."

“Sounds good,” he said. “What’s that second business called?"

“Tinywolf Productions LLC,” I replied.

There was a brief pause. A little too brief. And then he said, “Um, okay…”

Another pause.

Then, he started to spell.

“...H...I...N…"

I blinked. “Sorry,” I said, “did you say H?”

“Yeah,” the agent replied. “You said Hineywolf Productions, right?”

My brain blew up.

“WAIT—what? No! Not Hineywolf! TINYwolf! TINYwolf!”

As we both laughed uncontrollably, I kept thinking, Now this guy thinks I run an erotica empire.

As I wiped tears from my eyes and the agent kept slapping his hand on his desk (at least, that’s what I THINK he was doing?), we both kept howling "Hineywolf!"

Finally, after several moments of mutual humiliation, the agent tried to steer us back to professionalism.

“Ms. Wolf,” he said, chuckling, “don’t worry. I’ve got it all taken care of.” He took a deep breath, then said, “All your problems are behind you.”

“Did you just say all my problems are behind me?" I asked.

“Um…yeah?" he said.

“My Hineywolf problems are behind me?!?!” I shrieked — and the two of us collapsed all over again.

And….SCENE (lol)

If you suspect I’m making this up, call Guy Maniscalo at Farmers Insurance in Lemont, Illinois. Tell him a tiny wolf sent you.

And, I’ve been meaning to create a logo for Tinywolf Productions, so this post inspired my first mockup. What do you think?

P.S. Just for kicks, I created the logo my new insurance guy probably imagined:

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Christine Wolf is a developmental editor, memoir coach, and founder of Writers’ Haven — a workspace for writers in Evanston, Illinois. She writes memoir, biography, and personal essays. A former columnist with the Chicago Tribune, Wolf teaches Expressive Writing for Emotional Healing Workshops online and at Northwestern University’s Norris Center.

Her next Expressive Writing for Emotional Healing Workshop at Northwestern University’s Norris Center is Saturday, 5/3 from 3-6pm. It’s a wonderful event to attend with a good friend.

Here’s more info:
Expressive Writing for Emotional Healing
Saturday, May 3rd (3:00 - 6:00 p.m.)
Instructor: Christine Wolf
Location: Norris University Center, Northwestern University
Register here

Whether you’ve known periods of overwhelm, trauma, or significant difficulty, it’s important to process these experiences in healthy ways. In this course, you’ll learn the evidence-based technique of expressive writing to help process difficult emotions and help you get “unstuck”. The practice of Expressive Writing, pioneered by Dr. James Pennebaker in 1986, is a remarkably straightforward and FREE way to acknowledge your most troubling memories and create a framework of language that can help to move unresolved thoughts out of your head and onto the page (or even into the air).