The news just flashed across my phone:
“The Supreme Court overturned Roe v. Wade on Friday, holding that there is no longer a federal constitutional right to an abortion.”
Shame on this country.
Shame on those who’ve stolen the rights of women to make decisions about their own bodies, motivated by nothing less than power and control — motivation they cloak in what they want others to see as their *heroism*, claiming to save the lives of unborn children.
I was conceived pre-Roe V. Wade in 1967. My father had just graduated college, and my mother was still in her senior year at the Catholic university where they’d met. I was born in April the following year. Our country was in the middle of the Vietnam War.
They hadn’t much time to plan for a wedding, and my mother’s bridal bouquet hid her expanding belly.
It hid me.
Though I’ve been assured that I was “deeply wanted” (and that I actually helped to keep my father out of the draft), I’ll always wonder if my parents wished they’d had a choice.
At that time, my mother — and other women in similar circumstances — didn’t have a legal right to obtain an abortion. They didn’t have a choice about their own bodies in the matter. Abortion was illegal — just as it is again, today.
In 1967/1968, it wasn’t up to my mother to decide how to proceed with her body, with her pregnancy, or what would eventually become me.
But let me be clear.
While I was in my mother’s womb, I didn’t have any sense of the world outside, or of the God my parents feared, or of the legislators whose laws declared that once I was conceived, I had to be born or else.
When I was in my mother’s womb, I was an embryo and then a fetus. During all that time, my cells were growing and forming the cells necessary for me to sustain life outside her womb.
Her womb.
Her body.
Think about this:
WHAT IF abortion was legal when my mother was pregnant with me.
WHAT IF she decided to terminate the pregnancy.
WHAT IF someone stopped her and said, “I’m not going to let you do this, because I’m protecting your unborn child.”
WHAT IF my mother asked, “What exactly are you *protecting* my child from?”
WHAT IF that person said, “I’m protecting your innocent child from losing its chance to have the life it deserves.”
WHAT IF that person then peered into a crystal ball and saw that some parents, like my own father, traumatize their families, abuse and abandon their children (and others), then relinquish parental responsibilities?
WHAT IF that person came to see how their logic was rooted in magical thinking, that life has no guarantees, that not everyone is capable of being a healthy parent, and that no one has the right to tell another human what to do with their own body?
WHAT IF that person realized that I never asked or needed anyone to save me, nor did my mother?
WHAT IF I saw that person today and said:
Hey, asshole.
Instead of allowing us to use our own judgment and exercise our reproductive freedom, you’re now criminalizing us and forcing us to carry pregnancies that we do not want or that we know we are not ready to handle or that we are clearly unable to afford or that we feel deeply conflicted or unsure about or that we did not expect.
So. I want to know…
Who’s going to pay for the trauma therapy necessary for us and for our children?
Who exactly will feed and clothe and nurture and love the babies you insist we deliver — particularly those babies born to minority mothers whose lives are already deeply challenged and compromised?Who exactly will pay for the healthcare many of these mothers cannot afford?
Don’t you DARE say, “Well, you shouldn’t have gone and gotten yourself pregnant.” Shut the hell up, man. It takes two.
Don’t you DARE say, “You put yourself in this situation by [having sex in the first place; by dressing provocatively; by getting drunk; by making bad choices].” This *situation* is called a pregnancy, not a morality report card, and no matter what your beliefs or standards are, you do not get to give out the grades.
Don’t you DARE say, “If you didn’t want a baby, why didn’t you exercise more caution?” What if I did exercise caution and still got pregnant? Condoms break.
Birth control pills are sometimes taken at the wrong time. Menstrual cycles are not always consistent. And really, what if I didn’t exercise caution? What if I deeply regret that I had unprotected sex? What if I didn’t think through the practicalities or realities of raising a child until I stared down at a positive pregnancy test and realized there’s no possible way that I’m emotionally, financially, physically, or relationally prepared to be a decent mother?Most of all, don’t you DARE try to reason by saying, “Sorry to say, but actions have consequences.” If there’s anyone knows this, it’s us — and trust us, there will be catastrophic consequences as a result of the Supreme Court of the United States overturning Roe v. Wade.
Aside from instilling fear and creating health risks and stripping reproductive rights from women in America, you’ve shown us that you’re far more than just a controlling coward.
You are also an enemy of women.
Thank you for your rage, Christine. I stand beside you shaking as well. Don't talk to me about consequences when there are basically none for the men who get us pregnant. When men are not forced to pay child support. When men are not punished for rape. When men are not required to have vasectomies. When men do not even know a woman's anatomy. And when the laws of these men are based on a religion that NEVER dictated life begins in the womb but instead that life begins with BREATH. I am livid and I am mourning.
It is shocking news and a backwards step thrust upon women. Thank you for your words