Second Chance Series: 7/12
Day 14: How A Community Grows When We Begin Again
Welcome to The Second Chances Series, my 23-day writing experiment capturing the joy, mess, beauty, and meaning of my midlife wedding.
I recently got remarried at 57…
…to a widower….
…on a dangerously hot Midwestern summer day…
…surrounded by our seven grown kids and more second-chance energy than I could’ve imagined.
Every day from June 29 to July 21, I’ll post one unfiltered reflection based on moments and photos from our wedding day. I’m doing this to capture all the memories while they’re still fresh in my mind, and to reflect on all that I’m learning about love, grief, joy, and reinvention. And, you’re invited, as always, to share your own reflections on the day’s theme.
This series will also provide a behind-the-scenes look at how I think about and draft material for my upcoming book, co-edited with my husband, Eric, called We Began Again: Collected Essays on Second Chances.
Some portions of these wedding reflection posts will be free. Most will live behind the paywall to support this work. Thank you for being here.
SCHEDULE OF POSTS
6/29: We’ll Always Have To Start Somewhere
6/30: Beginning Again After Loss
7/1: Starting Over After Heartache
7/2: Fear of Reinjury
7/3: Courage to Start Anew
7/4: When Others’ Renewal Timelines Are Unlike Our Own
7/5: Looking More Forward Than Backward
7/6: The Importance of Acknowledging Loss
7/7: The Surprises of Starting Over
7/8: The Beauty of Beginning Again
7/9: Losing Black & White Thinking While Starting Over
7/10: The Magic of Embracing Stillness When Making a Comeback
7/11: Permission to Be Imperfect When Starting Anew
7/12: How a Community Grows When We Begin Again
7/13: Shock, Surprise, and the Hidden Impact of Starting Over
7/14: Hanging On When All Is Shattered, When All Your Hope Is Gone
7/15: Dealing With Disarray and Disharmony When Starting Over
7/16: Discomfort When Others Aren’t Ready to Begin Again
7/17: Allowing for New Dreams to Come True
7/18: Welcoming Unexpected Joy
7/19: Redefining Success the Second Time Around
7/20: Forgiving Yourself for the First Try
7/21: Final Reflection: Why We Begin Again
Day 14, July 12
How A Community Grows When We Begin Again
If you’d asked me 17 years ago who my community was, I would have answered without hesitation:
My husband and our three young kids.
My parents and my two younger sisters.
My four best friends from our days working in advertising and marketing.
My best friend from high school.
Many parents and teachers at my kids’ schools.
My neighbors.
My children’s literature writing community.
A local writing critique group that had just launched in my neighborhood.
I honestly believed these were the little communities I’d have forever.
But then, life happened — and with it, so many reasons to begin again.
My father died.
My kids grew up and launched.
I launched a full-time writing career.
My marriage ended—and with it, some friendships.
I sought intensive treatment to manage anxiety and PTSD.
I met new people who’d been divorced and widowed.
I rekindled many dormant relationships.
I started dating again.
My writing life shifted from kid lit to newspaper columns… to books, coaching, editing, and teaching.
I launched a unique business that offers workspaces and skills for writers.
I finished a Chicago Marathon for the first time.
I tried again at love — and found Eric, my husband.
I lost a sibling.
I discovered a sibling.
During COVID, one of my longest and closest friendships quietly unraveled.
Until writing this series, I hadn’t stopped to take stock of just how many times I’ve started over again.
But think about it. How many times do any of us start over? I think it’s WAY more often than we realize.
How many times do we shift course, reimagine our lives, or finally say yes to the things we’ve only dared to hope for?
Each time we begin again, we create space for a new community to form.
These days, my communities look so different.
I’m a stepmom now.
I’m a griever, a teacher, a published author, a marathon finisher, a business owner, and (finally) a happy wife.
I’m constantly becoming. We all are. We’re not stagnant creatures.
And while I’d never choose all the heartache I’ve walked through, I’m profoundly grateful for the new communities that have grown in its aftermath.
I can’t imagine life without Eric…
Or without my new friend Gretchen, who just “gets” me.
I can’t imagine life without the Monday night critique group I run…
…or the incredible clients I meet with every day.
I can’t imagine not having this Substack community! Look at all of you! This is INCREDIBLE.
When we begin again, our communities don’t just shift—they expand.
They meet us where we are, not where we used to be.
And in doing so, they remind us:
You’re not alone in your new chapter.
You’re growing. You’re becoming.
And you belong.
Your Turn
We often grieve the communities we lose, but what if we also celebrated the ones that bloom after a restart? How have you build new communities after you’ve restarted?
What I Learned About Second Chances
I now appreciate how expansive my world has become as a direct result of starting over. For me, hardship has often led to the creation of new and beautiful communities.
How These Reflections Might Fit in Our Forthcoming Book
I feel like the subject of community will end up playing a much bigger role in this book than I ever realized.
Christine Wolf is a memoir coach, developmental editor, and author of Politics, Partnerships, & Power. She teaches workshops in Expressive Writing for Emotional Healing at Northwestern University and is the founder and principal of Writers’ Haven Evanston, a workspace for writers near Chicago. christinewolf.com
Eric Ronne is the founder and principal of Lumen Design (no, not “that” LUMON), specializing in web3 branding, web design, event design, custom illustration, and more.
They met on a dating site.
Call for Submissions
We’re collecting 750-word essays for We Began Again: Collected Essays on Second Chances through 11:59pm Central time on July 21, 2025.
We Began Again:
Collected Essays on Second Chances
Edited by Christine Wolf & Eric Ronne
We’re thrilled to officially announce our very first collaborative book project as co-editors (and newlyweds)!
This collection will feature personal essays from writers around the world—true stories of transformation, resilience, and hope when life took an unexpected turn — by writers who chose to begin again.
As a real-life second-chance couple, we’re so excited to begin our new chapter as wife and husband (see what I did there?). We invite you to share in our joy by sharing your story (or stories!) of reinvention.
Submission Window
Opens: June 21, 2025 at 9:00am CST (our wedding day!)
Closes: July 21, 2025 at 11:59pm CST
✍️ What We’re Looking For
We’re accepting personal essays (up to 750 words) on how a second chance impacted your life. A few examples:
A second chance at love after heartbreak or loss
A career pivot or unexpected professional reinvention
Starting over in a new place—a town, a country, or even just a new mindset
Returning to sobriety, or beginning a journey of recovery
Rebuilding trust with a friend, partner, or family member
Reinventing yourself after failure, burnout, illness, grief, or regret
Or any other moment where life gave you another shot, and you took it
If you’ve ever had to rebuild, reimagine, or begin again, we want to hear your story.
3 Top Tips for Success
Jump right into the action.
Don’t give us a ton of backstory. Instead, consider starting with the problem you faced and what the stakes were.
Embrace vulnerability.
Make sure readers understand what your struggle was. Let us sit with the discomfort of the unknown before telling us how you “solved” or “fixed” things. Bring us into your feelings of shock, indecision, pain, loss, or overwhelm.Tell us more than just what happened: Go deep and describe how the events made you FEEL.
Submission Fee: $10 per essay (but FREE to paid subscribers of this newsletter)
FAQs
1. Will contributors be paid?
Not financially, but here’s what you will receive:
A digital copy of the finished book
A chance to have your writing featured and promoted in a one-of-a-kind collection launched during a real-life love story
Interviews with us once the book’s published
Our deepest gratitude for helping us build something meaningful, lasting, and real
2. Can I submit more than one essay?
Yes!
3. Can I submit previously published work?
Yes, as long as you have the rights to the content.
4. Will I retain the rights to the work I submit?
Yes!
5. Can I publish under a pen name?
Yes!
6. Are you looking for uplifting stories? Vulnerable stories? Unresolved stories?
Yes. Yes. And yes.
7. How do I submit?
Paid subscribers, click here to submit your essay(s) FREE!
Use Discount Code SECONDCHANCE
Questions?
Drop your questions in the comments. We’re happy to clarify anything.
Know Someone With A Good Second Chance Story?
Please share this post with them and encourage them to submit an essay!
We can’t wait to read your second chance stories—big or small, joyful or complicated, typical or miraculous. They all matter.
With love and excitement,
Christine & Eric