Second Chance Series: 7/3
Day 5: Courage to Start Anew
Welcome to The Second Chances Series, my 23-day writing experiment capturing the joy, mess, beauty, and meaning of my midlife wedding.
I recently got remarried at 57…
…to a widower….
…on a dangerously hot Midwestern summer day…
…surrounded by our seven grown kids and more second-chance energy than I could’ve imagined.
Every day from June 29 to July 21, I’ll post one unfiltered reflection based on moments and photos from our wedding day. I’m doing this to capture all the memories while they’re still fresh in my mind, and to reflect on all that I’m learning about love, grief, joy, and reinvention. And, you’re invited, as always, to share your own reflections on the day’s theme.
This series will also provide a behind-the-scenes look at how I think about and draft material for my upcoming book, co-edited with my husband, Eric, called We Began Again: Collected Essays on Second Chances.
Some portions of these wedding reflection posts will be free. Most will live behind the paywall to support this work. Thank you for being here.
SCHEDULE OF POSTS
6/29: We’ll Always Have To Start Somewhere
6/30: Beginning Again After Loss
7/1: Starting Over After Heartache
7/2: Fear of Reinjury
7/3: Courage to Start Anew
7/4: When Others’ Renewal Timelines Are Unlike Our Own
7/5: Looking More Forward Than Backward
7/6: The Importance of Acknowledging Loss
7/7: The Surprises of Starting Over
7/8: The Beauty of Beginning Again
7/9: Losing Black & White Thinking While Starting Over
7/10: The Magic of Embracing Stillness When Making a Comeback
7/11: Permission to Be Imperfect When Starting Anew
7/12: How a Community Grows When We Begin Again
7/13: Shock, Surprise, and the Hidden Impact of Starting Over
7/14: Hanging On When All Is Shattered, When All Your Hope Is Gone
7/15: Dealing With Disarray and Disharmony When Starting Over
7/16: Discomfort When Others Aren’t Ready to Begin Again
7/17: Allowing for New Dreams to Come True
7/18: Welcoming Unexpected Joy
7/19: Redefining Success the Second Time Around
7/20: Forgiving Yourself for the First Try
7/21: Final Reflection: Why We Begin Again
Day 5, July 3
Courage to Start Anew
Today’s Reflection
I was forty when I began my writing career in 2008, just as the publishing industry was undergoing a seismic shift. Newspapers were folding, blogs were gaining traction, and social media was changing the way we shared, read, and responded to stories. I started out writing and editing textbooks, then moved into blogging on WordPress and contributing to Patch.com. Eventually, I became a freelance columnist for the Chicago Sun-Times and then the Chicago Tribune, where I also wrote for their digital experiment, ChicagoNow.
From 2015 to 2017—as I navigated the end of my decades-long marriage—I also watched the publishing world struggle to reinvent itself. Print media was losing ad revenue, newsrooms were shrinking, and writers like me had to adapt or risk becoming irrelevant. It felt, some days, like standing on shifting ground with no clear path forward. Everything about my life felt unfamiliar and terrifying.
And yet, it was in that uncertainty that something new began. I didn’t know it at the time, but I was slowly starting to build a career on my own terms—coaching writers, editing manuscripts, and creating a business rooted in vulnerability and truth.
Starting over—personally, professionally, emotionally—wasn’t something I planned. But I found myself doing it anyway, one brave, shaky step at a time. That’s the heart of We Began Again: the moments when life pushes us to begin anew, and we find the courage to say yes.
What I Learned About Second Chances
To be sure, I will always regret the pain and disruption my divorce caused to my children, my extended family, and my friends. I didn’t initiate the separation, and in my opinion, it could have been handled with far more care. I’m still learning to offer myself grace and compassion, reminding myself that I did the best I could during an incredibly traumatic time.
As the eldest child—and a child of divorce myself—I felt immense pressure to “handle things” better, to stay calm, steady, and composed. But the truth is, I was blindsided when my then-husband announced he was leaving our marriage after 24 years. I wasn’t prepared for the hostility that followed, or the relentless campaign to discredit my character, or the legal system that seemed designed to preserve wealth for some while neglecting the well-being of others.
There were so many dark days when my fears manifested in emotional paralysis, defensiveness, and rage. I lost nearly 40 pounds and a few cherished friendships, and my hair came out in clumps. At the time, I didn’t think of it as starting over. I felt like I was in hell, dragging others through it with me. Surviving became my only objective.
Thanks to intensive therapy, meditation, and the miraculous support of so many friends (you know who you are and I will never be able to thank you enough), I kept getting pulled back from the brink of hopelessness.
So, what did I learn about second chances?
I learned that in the midst of something big, unfamiliar, and terrifying, it’s normal to feel completely untethered. When I had no clear map and no handbook, I battled waves of anxiety, self-doubt, and occasional flickers of determination. For me, that determination ultimately guided me through the fire.
I also learned that second chances offer massive opportunities for growth. The key, of course, is to keep offering ourselves grace when we stumble during this massive learning curve.
What I learned is that our second chances rarely look like fresh starts. They look like tiny choices—sometimes angry, sometimes trembling, sometimes bold and entirely uncertain—to keep going. And eventually, those choices shape a new way forward. Not perfect. Not pain-free. But deeply, undeniably ours. And absolutely worth it.
Your Turn
When have you found yourself forced to begin again? Describe a time when you had to shift gears and felt uncertain about the best path to take. What small steps did you take that led you to a “new” you?
How These Reflections Might Fit in Our Forthcoming Book
I often think about how I don’t want our book to be overshadowed by the pain of my past, but then I keep coming back to reality: My painful past is what ultimately led me to Eric. Had I not been left, I never would have felt inspired to seek the kind of safe and enduring love I found with my second husband. I was so young when I married the first time, idealistic and convinced (at 23!) that I fully knew myself and my husband-to-be. I did not. And, while I’m the first to stand on a stage and tell the world that I’m the least confident, least figured-out person I know, I know one thing for certain:
There are many of us who have had to rebuild after something we didn’t see coming. People who’ve had to make sense of a life that suddenly looked nothing like the one they’d expected or planned. And while I wouldn’t wish that kind of upheaval on anyone, I now see it for what it was: a painful, uninvited turning point that eventually opened the door to a different kind of joy—one I never imagined was possible.
Christine Wolf is a memoir coach, developmental editor, and author of Politics, Partnerships, & Power. She teaches workshops in Expressive Writing for Emotional Healing at Northwestern University and is the founder and principal of Writers’ Haven Evanston, a workspace for writers near Chicago. christinewolf.com
Eric Ronne is the founder and principal of Lumen Design (no, not “that” LUMON), specializing in web3 branding, web design, event design, custom illustration, and more.
They met on a dating site.
Call for Submissions
We’re collecting 750-word essays for We Began Again: Collected Essays on Second Chances through 11:59pm Central time on July 21, 2025.
We Began Again:
Collected Essays on Second Chances
Edited by Christine Wolf & Eric Ronne
We’re thrilled to officially announce our very first collaborative book project as co-editors (and newlyweds)!
This collection will feature personal essays from writers around the world—true stories of transformation, resilience, and hope when life took an unexpected turn — by writers who chose to begin again.
As a real-life second-chance couple, we’re so excited to begin our new chapter as wife and husband (see what I did there?). We invite you to share in our joy by sharing your story (or stories!) of reinvention.
Submission Window
Opens: June 21, 2025 at 9:00am CST (our wedding day!)
Closes: July 21, 2025 at 11:59pm CST
✍️ What We’re Looking For
We’re accepting personal essays (up to 750 words) on how a second chance impacted your life. A few examples:
A second chance at love after heartbreak or loss
A career pivot or unexpected professional reinvention
Starting over in a new place—a town, a country, or even just a new mindset
Returning to sobriety, or beginning a journey of recovery
Rebuilding trust with a friend, partner, or family member
Reinventing yourself after failure, burnout, illness, grief, or regret
Or any other moment where life gave you another shot, and you took it
If you’ve ever had to rebuild, reimagine, or begin again, we want to hear your story.
3 Top Tips for Success
Jump right into the action.
Don’t give us a ton of backstory. Instead, consider starting with the problem you faced and what the stakes were.
Embrace vulnerability.
Make sure readers understand what your struggle was. Let us sit with the discomfort of the unknown before telling us how you “solved” or “fixed” things. Bring us into your feelings of shock, indecision, pain, loss, or overwhelm.Tell us more than just what happened: Go deep and describe how the events made you FEEL.
Submission Fee: $10 per essay (but FREE to paid subscribers of this newsletter)
FAQs
1. Will contributors be paid?
Not financially, but here’s what you will receive:
A digital copy of the finished book
A chance to have your writing featured and promoted in a one-of-a-kind collection launched during a real-life love story
Interviews with us once the book’s published
Our deepest gratitude for helping us build something meaningful, lasting, and real
2. Can I submit more than one essay?
Yes!
3. Can I submit previously published work?
Yes, as long as you have the rights to the content.
4. Will I retain the rights to the work I submit?
Yes!
5. Can I publish under a pen name?
Yes!
6. Are you looking for uplifting stories? Vulnerable stories? Unresolved stories?
Yes. Yes. And yes.
7. How do I submit?
Paid subscribers, click here to submit your essay(s) FREE!
Use Discount Code SECONDCHANCE
Questions?
Drop your questions in the comments. We’re happy to clarify anything.
Know Someone With A Good Second Chance Story?
Please share this post with them and encourage them to submit an essay!
We can’t wait to read your second chance stories—big or small, joyful or complicated, typical or miraculous. They all matter.
With love and excitement,
Christine & Eric