Second Chance Series: 7/8
Day 10: The Beauty of Beginning Again
Welcome to The Second Chances Series, my 23-day writing experiment capturing the joy, mess, beauty, and meaning of my midlife wedding.
I recently got remarried at 57…
…to a widower….
…on a dangerously hot Midwestern summer day…
…surrounded by our seven grown kids and more second-chance energy than I could’ve imagined.
Every day from June 29 to July 21, I’ll post one unfiltered reflection based on moments and photos from our wedding day. I’m doing this to capture all the memories while they’re still fresh in my mind, and to reflect on all that I’m learning about love, grief, joy, and reinvention. And, you’re invited, as always, to share your own reflections on the day’s theme.
This series will also provide a behind-the-scenes look at how I think about and draft material for my upcoming book, co-edited with my husband, Eric, called We Began Again: Collected Essays on Second Chances.
Some portions of these wedding reflection posts will be free. Most will live behind the paywall to support this work. Thank you for being here.
SCHEDULE OF POSTS
6/29: We’ll Always Have To Start Somewhere
6/30: Beginning Again After Loss
7/1: Starting Over After Heartache
7/2: Fear of Reinjury
7/3: Courage to Start Anew
7/4: When Others’ Renewal Timelines Are Unlike Our Own
7/5: Looking More Forward Than Backward
7/6: The Importance of Acknowledging Loss
7/7: The Surprises of Starting Over
7/8: The Beauty of Beginning Again
7/9: Losing Black & White Thinking While Starting Over
7/10: The Magic of Embracing Stillness When Making a Comeback
7/11: Permission to Be Imperfect When Starting Anew
7/12: How a Community Grows When We Begin Again
7/13: Shock, Surprise, and the Hidden Impact of Starting Over
7/14: Hanging On When All Is Shattered, When All Your Hope Is Gone
7/15: Dealing With Disarray and Disharmony When Starting Over
7/16: Discomfort When Others Aren’t Ready to Begin Again
7/17: Allowing for New Dreams to Come True
7/18: Welcoming Unexpected Joy
7/19: Redefining Success the Second Time Around
7/20: Forgiving Yourself for the First Try
7/21: Final Reflection: Why We Begin Again
Day 10, July 8
The Beauty of Beginning Again
Today’s Reflection
When Eric and I initially considered how to celebrate our wedding day, we envisioned a very small gathering that would include just our seven adult children. Before we knew it, we’d expanded the group to include our extended family. But as a midlife couple who found each other not long before the pandemic, we realized how few opportunities we’ve had to bring all our loved ones from near and far under one roof. And so, we figured we’d ask a few more…and a few more…until we had to finally say, “Uncle!”
In this photo, I’m looking at my mom with a mix of joy and relief (and massive gratitude) for being with me on my special day.
The shot was captured by our photographer just after Eric and I pulled off the biggest feat of magic I’ve ever personally seen. We led our guests in a quick, post-dinner game of BINGO (which we’d dubbed “RINGO”) and rigged it so that everyone in the room “won” at the exact same time. The photographer caught Mom running up to me, laughing and asking how the hell we’d pulled that off.
And really, what an apt question for my relationship with Eric.
When I first met him, I was a 49-year-old divorced mom living in Evanston, and he was a 50-something widowed dad living in Wheaton. For those who don’t live nearby, I have to explain that there’s no easy way to travel between those two towns. It’s a guaranteed, hour-long (minimum) slog through relentless traffic, skirting the edges of bustling O’Hare airport. The commute was mind-numbing, and somehow we managed to endure it for EIGHT STRAIGHT YEARS.
During that time, we built a life together — partly in person and partly on FaceTime, phone, and texts. It wasn’t always easy… or happy… and we learned so many things along the way about ourselves, each other, our families, and the incredible communities that supported us along the way.
In our eight years together, we watched our kids graduate and launch into the world. We lost and found jobs, loved ones, friends, and beloved pets. We took a few breaks, leaned on our trusted circles, and figured out what we wanted and needed in a lifelong partnership.
There’d been many sleepless nights… many moments when I questioned if we’d make it… and many honest and vulnerable conversations. The work was hard, but it was so worth it, especially because I always knew one thing:
I always knew that we both wanted things to work.
Take, for example, one of the earliest, darkest days of the pandemic.
Thousands had already died, and no one knew where we were going as a society. I was still recovering from major surgery after a bout of diverticulitis, living alone in the home that had once brimmed with life. Now, my kids were grown and flown, and I was by myself, unsure of my safety, my livelihood, and my ability to be with loved ones again.
I remember talking to Eric every night, saying hi to his kids and his dogs, trying to figure out the tech to co-watch TV shows and movies together, laughing at his silly puns. I remember losing my worries as we worked on crossword puzzles together, and how, when I’d offer an answer that worked, he’d get excited and say something like, “That’s it! That’s the tipping point. That’s the word we needed to solve the whole thing.” I remember him playing his guitar as I folded laundry; I’d listen to him noodle with chords and marvel at how his brain understands the (foreign-to-me) language of music. I remember him telling me he loved me before I fell asleep. I remember saying it back and being so grateful to have found true love again.
After the world slowly re-opened, Eric asked me to marry him on a snowy, January night — our five year anniversary of dating. We were both still recovering from our first bout of COVID-19, and my vertigo left my head (literally) spinning as he knelt down and presented a ring and asked me to be his wife.
His wife.
He’d already lost a beautiful wife already to cancer, and yet there he was, willing to try again at love. There he was, willing to take on someone like me — filled with the aftershocks of childhood trauma but trying my best. There he was, pledging his commitment to stay with me forever, reassuring me that he knew I’d been left in the past…and that it wasn’t going to happen again. I felt like I was living in a dream.
The day after we became engaged, we called all our kids and our families and friends who’d been along for the ride, and I’ll never forget the beautiful smiles on every one of their faces. I hadn’t known that Eric was planning to propose, and I felt like I was walking on air. I was already giddy with relief that the world had reopened and that we were able to be with each other again. I was already so happy that we’d both recovered after having COVID, that our kids and loved ones were all doing okay. But this? THIS? I hadn’t anticipated what a beautiful, joyful feeling I’d have to begin again.
I felt like I was living in a dream.
Your Turn
Write about a time when you felt the beauty of a new beginning.
What I Learned About Second Chances
What most surprised me in the days, weeks, and months following our engagement was that I wasn’t immediately prepared to fully embrace the joy I felt.
That it would take some time to let down my guard, to let go of my hypervigilance, and to fully trust again.
That it would take work and honest conversations and tons of vulnerability to get there.
How These Reflections Might Fit in Our Forthcoming Book
When it comes to second chances, I’m fascinated by the ideas of adaptation and evolution, and I wonder how many submissions might touch on these concepts. I wonder how other people balance the delicate art of moving forward from the past with the beauty that is starting over.
Christine Wolf is a memoir coach, developmental editor, and author of Politics, Partnerships, & Power. She teaches workshops in Expressive Writing for Emotional Healing at Northwestern University and is the founder and principal of Writers’ Haven Evanston, a workspace for writers near Chicago. christinewolf.com
Eric Ronne is the founder and principal of Lumen Design (no, not “that” LUMON), specializing in web3 branding, web design, event design, custom illustration, and more.
They met on a dating site.
Call for Submissions
We’re collecting 750-word essays for We Began Again: Collected Essays on Second Chances through 11:59pm Central time on July 21, 2025.
We Began Again:
Collected Essays on Second Chances
Edited by Christine Wolf & Eric Ronne
We’re thrilled to officially announce our very first collaborative book project as co-editors (and newlyweds)!
This collection will feature personal essays from writers around the world—true stories of transformation, resilience, and hope when life took an unexpected turn — by writers who chose to begin again.
As a real-life second-chance couple, we’re so excited to begin our new chapter as wife and husband (see what I did there?). We invite you to share in our joy by sharing your story (or stories!) of reinvention.
Submission Window
Opens: June 21, 2025 at 9:00am CST (our wedding day!)
Closes: July 21, 2025 at 11:59pm CST
✍️ What We’re Looking For
We’re accepting personal essays (up to 750 words) on how a second chance impacted your life. A few examples:
A second chance at love after heartbreak or loss
A career pivot or unexpected professional reinvention
Starting over in a new place—a town, a country, or even just a new mindset
Returning to sobriety, or beginning a journey of recovery
Rebuilding trust with a friend, partner, or family member
Reinventing yourself after failure, burnout, illness, grief, or regret
Or any other moment where life gave you another shot, and you took it
If you’ve ever had to rebuild, reimagine, or begin again, we want to hear your story.
3 Top Tips for Success
Jump right into the action.
Don’t give us a ton of backstory. Instead, consider starting with the problem you faced and what the stakes were.
Embrace vulnerability.
Make sure readers understand what your struggle was. Let us sit with the discomfort of the unknown before telling us how you “solved” or “fixed” things. Bring us into your feelings of shock, indecision, pain, loss, or overwhelm.Tell us more than just what happened: Go deep and describe how the events made you FEEL.
Submission Fee: $10 per essay (but FREE to paid subscribers of this newsletter)
FAQs
1. Will contributors be paid?
Not financially, but here’s what you will receive:
A digital copy of the finished book
A chance to have your writing featured and promoted in a one-of-a-kind collection launched during a real-life love story
Interviews with us once the book’s published
Our deepest gratitude for helping us build something meaningful, lasting, and real
2. Can I submit more than one essay?
Yes!
3. Can I submit previously published work?
Yes, as long as you have the rights to the content.
4. Will I retain the rights to the work I submit?
Yes!
5. Can I publish under a pen name?
Yes!
6. Are you looking for uplifting stories? Vulnerable stories? Unresolved stories?
Yes. Yes. And yes.
7. How do I submit?
Paid subscribers, click here to submit your essay(s) FREE!
Use Discount Code SECONDCHANCE
Questions?
Drop your questions in the comments. We’re happy to clarify anything.
Know Someone With A Good Second Chance Story?
Please share this post with them and encourage them to submit an essay!
We can’t wait to read your second chance stories—big or small, joyful or complicated, typical or miraculous. They all matter.
With love and excitement,
Christine & Eric
Thank you for sharing this Christine. This feels like something out of a hollywood movie or something I'd flip to on the Hallmark channel during Christmas. I'm a private closet feel good watcher of anything with a happy ending. I want something that reminds me when life gets tough love still finds a way. You and your husband should pitch this the story as it's obviously rather heartwarming right.