Should I Even Bother Writing a Memoir?
What I tell every writer—first-timers and bestsellers alike
As a trauma-informed memoir coach and developmental editor, I’m on the front lines with memoir writers. Some are emerging voices. Others are New York Times bestselling authors writing memoir for the first time.
Here’s what I know to be true:
It’s harder (but not impossible) to land a traditional book deal
If you’re previously unpublished—or if you don’t have celebrity status or a massive social media following—it’s harder today to land a traditional book deal. Not impossible. Just harder.
Even with a killer manuscript, it takes time, patience, and positivity to find a literary agent who will champion your story and secure the right home for it.
Fortunately, publishing isn’t one-size-fits-all anymore
Writers today have more options than ever—including hybrid publishers.
Yes, some hybrid presses are predatory, but many are run by former editors, literary agents, or authors who left the traditional world to build something better. The best hybrid publishers can offer a process that rivals (or even surpasses) the traditional experience—often with higher royalties and full rights retention.
The publishing landscape is shifting fast, and while many see this as frustrating or limiting, I see it as one of the best times ever to publish a memoir.
Walk into any bookstore—you’ll see memoirs everywhere. Yes, there are more celebrity memoirs than ever, but this won’t last forever.
Remember the era of the supermodel in the ’80s and ’90s? Then came the demand for authenticity. The same pendulum is swinging in memoir. Readers crave real stories. New voices. Lived experience.
And that’s where you come in.
“Should I even bother writing a memoir if I probably won’t get a traditional deal?”
Short answer: YES.
If you feel called to write your story, follow that call. Don’t wait for permission. Don’t look for someone to anoint you as a *legitimate* writer. BELIEVE that you’re a writer, and go from there.
If you’re still feeling squeamish about calling yourself a writer, let me offer this:
—If you’re sitting here reading this, wondering if you have what it takes to be a writer, then you’re a writer.
—If you’re reading this, hoping that you’ll one day publish a book, then you’re a writer (just one who hasn’t yet been published).
—If you’re reading this and comparing yourself to other writers who’ve “made it,” then I congratulate you for observing the landscape and learning to understand who your peers and colleagues are. I’m one of them. Welcome to da clurb. We all fam, here.
Here are two perspectives I love:
However, if your main goal is to prove something, make money, or “get back at” someone who hurt you, I suggest pressing pause. Reconsider your motivation.
The story of Stephanie Land, author of Maid
Land’s debut memoir, Maid: Hard Work, Low Pay, and a Mother's Will to Survive, became a Netflix series. But before that, she was a freelancer, a writing fellow, and a tireless storyteller.
What tipped the scales?
She published a viral essay on Vox. A literary agent reached out, and within a year, she had a book deal with Hachette—one of the Big 5 publishers.
Did she luck out? Yes.
Right story, right time, right platform? Absolutely.
Did she put in the work to be ready when opportunity knocked? 100%.
For context: My own (unconventional) publishing story
I’m a traditionally published author—but not with one of the Big 5. I didn’t have an agent. I heard about a potential biography project involving two former members of Congress. I pitched myself as a co-author. Before that, I’d dabbled in textbook writing, then wrote a blog, then freelanced as a newspaper opinion columnist. I’d written a children’s novel that sat in a drawer (where it still does). I’d also dared myself to spend some time on Chicago storytelling stages reading from my childhood diaries. I didn’t have a degree in journalism, English, or political science, but I had a deep interest in local culture and storytelling, and that’s what I emphasized in my pitch.
After an initial interview, I was offered my first book deal.
I share this to say: There are many paths to publication. The surest one, in my opinion, is to follow your heart and take smart, strategic risks.
Wait, remind me. Who are the Big 5 publishers?
Hachette
Penguin Random House
HarperCollins
Macmillan
Simon & Schuster
Each of these publishers has many imprints (smaller divisions under the larger umbrella). For example, Mulholland Books is an imprint of Little, Brown and Company (part of Hachette), focused on suspense and crime.
Traditional publishers cover all production costs and pay authors royalties.
Hybrid publishers, on the other hand, ask authors to contribute funds upfront for editorial and production—but authors typically retain their rights, maintain creative control, and earn significantly higher royalties.
“Which publishing path is best for me?”
There’s no one answer.
Many of my clients initially aim for traditional deals, but after months of querying and rejection, they explore hybrid or self-publishing—and often feel relieved.
“Should I even consider self-publishing?”
Yes—absolutely.
I’ve seen authors earn more from self-publishing than from traditional deals. But self-publishing means you’re in charge of everything:
Editing
Proofreading
Cover design
Formatting
Distribution
Marketing & PR
And so much more.
It’s a steep learning curve—but not impossible. And, you retain complete control.
“I hate marketing. What should I do?”
Here’s the reality:
No matter how you publish, you will need to market your book.
Gone are the days when traditional publishers sent debut authors on book tours. Unless you’re a household name, you’ll likely be your own marketing team—or need to hire one.
But here’s the fun part:
You already know your book better than anyone. You’re the best person to share why it matters.
And believe it or not, marketing can be creative and joyful.
I’ve seen self-proclaimed “non-salesy” writers light up when they land podcast interviews, post excerpts on Instagram, or write guest essays about their writing journeys.
You don’t need a business degree. You need passion, clarity, and a willingness to say yes.
Why do some memoirs get picked up while others get passed over?
In my experience, successful memoirs share three things:
A well-crafted, engaging story that reflects universal truths
A generous, outward-facing spirit (more invitation than venting)
A persistent, positive mindset focused on reader connection
Manuscripts that struggle usually:
Prioritize personal catharsis over narrative craft
Lack structure or polish
Focus too heavily on revenge, validation, or profit
How do I get started?
The most important thing is to WRITE — and you don’t have to start with memoir.
Perhaps you want to try writing and submitting an essay for publication. I’m currently holding a call for submissions thru 7/21/25 for my forthcoming book, WE BEGAN AGAIN: Collected Essays on Second Chances. I’d love to read your work!
Maybe you want to learn how memoir works…and to start laying down a framework for your story. If so, I’m getting ready to launch a self-guided memoir course. If you’re interested in getting a sneak peek at a discounted rate, sign up here, and you’ll be the first to know when it launches later this summer.
Do you already have a book or publish a Substack? I’d love to feature you in my Writers On Writing series and help you build your author platform. If you’re interested in being featured, reach out and let me know!
Are you feeling ready to work with a memoir coach? Not sure how to choose one? I offer a FREE, 20-minute (or a discounted, hour-long) consult in which we discuss your story, your stuck points, and your publication goals. Reach out to schedule an initial coaching session here, and I’ll send you more info.
What’s the best piece of advice you have for a memoirist?
Too often, writers hesitate writing memoir for fear of hurting someone or getting into trouble about opening up. I was once one of those writers, and then, something changed.
In a large conference room at the annual conference of the AWP in Philadelphia, I stood in front of a panel of award-winning memoirists and asked how to navigate the paralysis I felt about telling my story even though some people have insisted I not share it.
“Ask yourself two questions,” I was told. “First, who are you protecting by staying quiet? Second, who are you harming by keeping your story a secret?”
Once you consider your position on these questions, you might find yourself feeling more free to write your truth.
There are also SO many resources available to memoirists. Here are literally just a few:
founded the National Association of Memoir Writers and publishes on Substack.Marion Roach Smith of The Memoir Project is one of the most highly regarded memoir coaches (and literary figures) around. Her website and offerings are not to be missed.
’s Substack, including the Memoir Nation podcast.’s Big Magic: Creative Living Beyond Fear will help you feel seen, clear out your nasty insecurities, and inspire you to put your story on the page. Her incredible Substack is .’s Substack, , is not to be missed. Like, SO NOT TO BE MISSED.Anything by Dani Shapiro or Joan Didion.
— who publishes on Substack and hosts the Let’s Talk Memoir podcast — is worth bookmarking for her valuable perspectives and deeply insightful interviews, particularly this one with Allison K. Williams. ’s Substack, , is approachable and deeply informative. As a teacher, she’s one of the best.’s Substack, , will always remind you why you’ve turned to memoir — and to writing in general.I also highly recommend three membership-based organizations — the Association of Writers and Writing Programs (AWP), the American Society of Journalists and Authors (ASJA), and The Authors Guild for valuable networking, craft resources, and inspiring annual conferences.
“But, one last thing. What if I open old wounds?”
Ahhh, here’s another truth: When writing a memoir, you likely WILL open old wounds. And, from what I’ve experienced as a memoir writer and memoir coach, I know that you will likely feel better after working through those wounds on the page.
Remember: writing doesn’t always lead to publishing. You might write ten pages about a traumatic event in your life, then boil it down to a brief, single paragraph, like:
“What happened to me in that moment doesn’t deserve a spotlight. Rather, my heart deserves acknowledgment that it was forever changed. And, I’m choosing to stop the ripple effect of pain right here, right now.”
I’ve studied — and now teach — the science of expressive writing for emotional healing, and if there’s anything I’ve learned about memoir writing, it’s that it’s the most courageous and liberating genre one can write. When we actively write about times in our life that left us struggling or feeling lost or scared, we remind ourselves that we survived and kept going. When we choose to unpack the experiences that shaped our existence, we tap into a sense of knowing and confidence that can’t be faked, outsourced, or written by AI. We begin to see ourselves not just as people who endured something—but as meaning-makers, as storytellers, as authors of our own lives.
Writing memoir is not just about recounting what happened. It’s about reclaiming agency. It’s about transforming pain into purpose, confusion into clarity, and isolation into connection.
And here’s the extraordinary thing: when we write honestly about our own lives, we don’t just heal ourselves—we give others permission to do the same.
That’s the power of memoir. It’s not about being famous. It’s about being real. And real stories? They’re what the world needs most.
Final thoughts
If you’re asking, “Should I even bother writing this memoir?”—you already know the answer.
Write it.
Write it well.
Write it with intention.
Then, explore your publishing options with curiosity and confidence. The landscape is shifting every day—and readers are still and will always be hungry for real stories, thoughtfully told.
Your job?
Be ready.
Be open.
And keep going.
Christine Wolf is a trauma-informed memoir coach, award-winning storyteller, and co-author of Politics, Partnerships & Power. A former columnist for the Chicago Tribune and Chicago Sun-Times, she teaches Expressive Writing for Emotional Healing workshops at Northwestern University. Her work has been recognized by The Moth, the National Society of Newspaper Columnists, and the White House, where she was selected to interview President Barack Obama in the first-ever live-streamed presidential interview. She’s the founder of Writers’ Haven, a literary community in Evanston, Illinois. christinewolf.com.
Wonderful advice, Christine. Fantastic piece. Eternally grateful you agreed to read my memoir. It still proves to be the most validating feedback that calmed the doubts in me and fear of embarrassment I was projecting to have if I released. You are a gem and one of brilliant support. Thank you a million times over!!
Thank you so much for putting my Substack in such excellent company!