That Time I Accidentally Dropped an F-Bomb During a Livestream
Thankfully, my curse word was edited out of the recording, but it happened! Here, I share why I swore like a sailor — and my #1 lesson about speaking at livestreamed events.
Last month, just before I was about to present a live webinar to the United States Capitol Historical Society, I *thought* I had everything in place.
I had…
…my laptop plugged in and the Zoom link to Washington D.C. open and ready to go.
…my wired headphones and microphone connected to my laptop.
…an external monitor with my presentation loaded.
…a physical copy of my presentation notes, just in case I couldn’t see the digital version.
…my notes at the ready.
…four different beverages (protein smoothie, two cans of seltzer water, and decaf coffee), plus lip balm.
…a physical clock to keep track of time.
…extra lighting.
And of course, I had the book I was asked to speak about — Politics, Partnerships, & Power: The Lives of Ralph E. and Marguerite Stitt Church — co-written with Jay Pridmore.
An invite to speak to the U.S. Capitol Historical Society was a dream come true, and I was excited to offer something for people to watch that was different from the news, which is lately filled with nonstop conflict and strife.
Morning of the livestream
After a quick, online tech run-through with the webinar’s moderator and her assistant, I felt as ready as I could be. For the next 3-4 minutes, I told myself, all I had to do was breathe.
I’d been looking forward to speaking to this group for months, and felt deeply honored by their invitation. The United States Capitol Historical Society, chartered by the United States Congress beginning in 1962, was created to educate the public on the heritage and history of the United States Capitol, as well as its institutions and those individuals who have served them over time. I was asked to share a presentation about the life of Marguerite Stitt Church, one of the first 50 women in Congress. I jumped at the chance to speak about her life and accomplishments.
Marguerite had been a founding member of the U.S. Capitol Historical Society, and later served as its Vice President. It wasn’t lost on me that, as co-author of her first biography, I’d be speaking to members of the very group she’d helped to envision and create.
And so, with just thirty seconds until we went live, I fiddled with all the items on my desk, reminding myself I had nothing to be nervous about.
I knew my stuff.
I’d spent seven years working on the book.
I was ready.
When the s#it hit the fan
I popped in my wired headphones and watched the seconds ticking away on the clock. Only thirty seconds until the webinar’s start.
But, unbeknownst to me, someone in my house had borrowed my AirPods and was trying to connect them to their device, and in doing so, unintentionally connected them to my laptop. In other words, they’d hijacked my laptop’s audio. I knew all of this because a little notification popped up in the upper right hand corner of my screen:
Suddenly, just as the clock struck 11:00 a.m., my wired headphones and their built-in microphone were no longer working.
“Uhhhh,” I mumbled to myself, still on mute, trying not to panic.
As the moderator welcomed the gathered audience, my mind scrambled, trying to think of how to disconnect the wireless headphones and reconnect my wired set, all while smiling and staying frozen in my seat, not making a noise.
At this point, my camera was still off and I hadn’t yet been introduced. I knew I had to wrestle back my audio — STAT — so I did the only two things I knew to do:
1) I unplugged my wired headphones from the laptop jack, and
2) I unmuted myself.
Unfortunately, not in that order.
The good news is, I was now speaking through my laptop’s external microphone. The bad news is, I (quite loudly) muttered a certain 4-letter expletive just AFTER I unmuted myself.
In doing so, I’d web-inized an f-bomb to untold numbers of historians, distinguished guests, and board members of the United States Capitol Historical Society.
Horrified, I caught sight of the moderator’s nearly indiscernible head tilt and wondered if it was a direct response to my four-letter assault. I’ll never ask, and I’ll never know.
Sitting frozen, I watched the poised and polished moderator continue, seemingly unruffled. She introduced me to the webinar’s attendees and I delivered my presentation, answering questions at the end before thanking everyone for attending.
It was only when I hit “Leave Meeting” that I finally exhaled and wondered how they’d edit out my salty language.
In the recording of the presentation (below), the moderator seems to begin mid-sentence. Coincidence? I think not. Clearly, some kind soul worked some very strategic editing magic.
And so, I owe a huge debt of gratitude to the person who spliced out my malediction.
The #1 lesson I’ve learned about speaking at livestreamed events
The one hard and fast rule to remember when speaking at livestreamed events is this: Something’s bound to go wrong.
That’s not being negative. It’s being prepared.
So…
Prepare for technical snafus, and try to roll with ‘em.
Prepare for the glitches, the hiccups, and the awkward pauses.
And for God’s sake, no matter what, watch your effing language.
The Life of United States Capitol Historical Society Co-Founder Congresswoman Marguerite Stitt Church, presented on November 21, 2024:
"Success depends upon previous preparation, and without such preparation there is sure to be failure.”
—Confucius"One important key to success is self-confidence. An important key to self-confidence is preparation.”
—Arthur Ashe"By failing to prepare, you're preparing to fail.”
—Benjamin Franklin
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Christine Wolf is a developmental editor and memoir coach at Writers’ Haven Evanston. She’s the co-author, with Jay Pridmore, of Politics, Partnerships, & Power: The Lives of Ralph E. and Marguerite Stitt Church. When she was younger, Christine’s parents washed her mouth out with soap if she said a bad word. Clearly, their corrective technique didn’t stick.
Get in touch at www.christinewolf.com
Oh! This is horrible and hilarious, hopefully more so as you look at it in the rear view mirror?
Heard today on a recorded interview: "You're not a failure. You're a writer!"