Why Are We Whispering?
From anxiety to AWP — and the Memoir I’m Finally Writing
In 2008, when I was 40, I decided I wanted to become a writer. I didn’t know what that meant yet.
I only knew I was a mother quietly fending off the daily ravages of anxiety and depression. From the outside, other parents seemed to move through their lives with more ease. They smiled more. Worried less. Functioned without the constant hum of dread I carried.
I didn’t yet have the language for PTSD, nor did I understand nervous system dysregulation. I just knew I felt broken — and alone.
The first book I imagined writing was called:
WHY ARE WE WHISPERING?
The title came from a deep knowing that if society spoke more openly about emotional challenges and struggles, fewer of us would feel as defective. That if we stopped whispering about things like anxiety, depression, ptsd, bipolar disorder, and so many other conditions, maybe fewer of us would feel less alone.
But I didn’t know how to do that. I only knew I had that question.
WHY ARE WE WHISPERING?
I never wrote the book. I didn’t even try. I didn’t think I was a real writer back then. Instead, I practiced my writing. I wrote children’s fiction. Personal essays. Blogs. Reported pieces. Opinion columns. I eventually became a developmental editor, then a trauma-informed memoir coach, and a writing instructor.
Without fully realizing it, I’ve built a life around naming what hurts.
Next week, I’ll be moderating a panel at the Association for Writers & Writing Programs (AWP) Conference in Baltimore: Breaking the Silence: Writing Mental Illness into Memoir.
When I proposed this panel to AWP, I chose writers I deeply admire and who’ve written bravely about what no one should ever feel obligated to hide.
I know we’ll have the conversation my younger self was desperate to overhear.
And, I’m proud to say that I’m finally writing my own memoir.
It’s called TRAINING GROUNDS.
Opening with the fatal Amtrak crash I survived in 1993, TRAINING GROUNDS travels from one life “station” to the next, tracing the landscape and forces that shaped me — sisterhood, secrecy, grief, resilience, and voice — including the loss of one sister and the unexpected discovery of another, both named Elizabeth.
TRAINING GROUNDS is also a nod to the years I spent “training” as a writer, trying to prove to myself that I am, in fact, doing legitimate, impactful work. That I’m worthy of someone’s googly eyes all up in my sentences.
Today, I’m still asking: Why are we whispering? But now, I have more data, more lived experience, and more science-based research that validates my gut instinct all those years ago, the one that knew that silence is destructive.
If you’d like to follow along as my book takes shape — the drafts, the tears (!), the structure experiments — I’ll be sharing sneak peeks and struggles with my paid subscribers very soon.
To my paid subscribers: THANK YOU (and let’s write together)!
Your support allows me to take time off work to chip away at my own writing, and to offer scholarships for my Expressive Writing for Emotional Healing workshops and crisis response efforts. Your support allows me to keep building Writers’ Haven in a generous, sustainable way.
And remember — as a thank you, paid subscribers get exclusive access to my Silent, Virtual, Drop-In-Anytime Write-Ins. Scroll down for your Zoom link.
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To EVERY subscriber — free and paid — thank you for being part of this community. Each one of you is a daily reminder that I’m a real writer. Thank you.
Christine
P.S. You don’t ever have to whisper here.
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