3 Simple Strategies to Manage Anxiety and Depression

Four weeks into the pandemic, I spoke about the strategies I use to manage my anxiety and keep depression at bay: Acceptance; acknowledgment, and action. Here's what they look like in practice.

Four years ago, we were just four weeks into the Covid-19 pandemic when I was asked by a global health engagement company* to speak about how I manage my anxiety and depression in a time of massive overwhelm and uncertainty.

I had no connection to this company, but I loved the idea of DOING SOMETHING when the world felt at once so frozen and yet spinning out-of-control. At that time, all I could think was, Who’s in charge? When do we get out of this situation? Will this ever end? And most importantly, when, if ever, will I be reunited with my loved ones?

And so, on a gray afternoon in April, 2020 — just when I was learning about something called Zoom — I sat at my dining room table, logged into a live video feed with people around the country, and talked into my computer screen about the mental health toolbox I consistently use to this day to get through the hardest of times.

Memoir Coach Christine Wolf on April 14, 2020, serving as a panelist discussing how she handles mental health challenges during the Covid-19 pandemic. Screenshot from Impact of the Covid-19 Pandemic On People With Mental Health Conditions

The recorded program — Impact of the Covid-19 Pandemic On People With Mental Health Conditions — was created by Health Perspectives Group (now Reverba) and features several panelists like me who manage mental health challenges.

Here’s a link to a clip of that interview in which I discuss my mental health toolbox. In sum, here are the three tools I rely on to keep my anxiety in check so I don’t fall into depression:

1. Acceptance

I am a person with anxiety, caused, without question, by multiple, traumatic circumstances in years past, including growing up with an abusive, alcoholic parent, surviving sexual assault and a catastrophic accident, and losing a loved one in a traumatic way.

For a long time, I used to fight against the truth, wishing that my past had been different…that people in my life had been different…that I had somehow handled things differently in some out-of-my-control situations.

But once I reached a point of accepting that the past could not be changed, and that I AM WHO I AM, things began to change. I had a better, stronger, more empowered view of the world. Rather than spending my energy on being frustrated or upset about the past, I shifted my outlook toward the present and the future — and by doing so, I stepped out of the crazy-making loop that comes from trying to rewrite history and rewire my brain.

2. Acknowledgment

Whenever things feel intense, overwhelming, out-of-control, and impossible to “fix,” try to stop, take a deep breath, and acknowledge how I’m feeling. In doing so, I validate (rather than push away or fight against) reality. Instead of saying, “I hate that this pandemic lockdown seems poorly managed and neverending,” I shift the focus toward my feelings (rather than fixating on the circumstances I may not be able to change right now).

I might say to myself, I’m feeling lonely, scared, weak, overwhelmed, and irritable. Once I’ve done that, I can acknowledge and address those emotions. I might then choose to offer myself kindness and tenderness (Of course you’re feeling this way! Who wouldn’t feel this way in such bizarre, unprecedented circumstances????) or even share my feelings with others. The key is to name and acknowledge the feelings so you can then take action.

3. Action

As a writer, I’ll always turn towards journaling and scribbling and typing and tapping words into my phone…but you don’t need to be a scribe to take action.

I might also try to do a puzzle, paint, watch TV, take a bath, write a card to someone, do a crossword puzzle or some laundry, or even clean out a long-neglected closet. If I’m feeling especially overwhelmed, I might open the freezer and stand there for a minute, letting the cold air work its magic on my nerves.

When I try to do small things — like making my bed or eating something healthy or taking a quick walk or meditating for 5 minutes — I get out of my overthinking head, even for just a bit.

Action might also look like performing acts of service (texting a friend and asking how they are; offering to pick up groceries for a neighbor); initiating a group FaceTime call or Zoom call.

The end-goal is to keep ourselves moving and out of that “worry loop” which, if left unchecked, can drain my batteries and leave me spiraling towards depression. While it’s never a good idea to blatantly avoid difficult feelings/emotions, it’s always helpful for me to take action and step away from the overwhelm to gain perspective and a more peaceful mindset. In this way, I can face and deal with the tough stuff from a place of relative strength and calm, rather than one of fear and exhaustion.

Bonus Toolbox Hack

Photo by Christopher Bill on Unsplash

Try, if you can, to keep bad words OUT OF YOUR vocabulary. Store them in a Bad Words Box.

What are the bad words?

Typically, they involve black & white thinking or judgment. I try to avoid words like:

•Should
•Impossible
•But
•All
•If only
•Never
•Always
•Nothing
•Ever
•Can’t
•Why
•Fail

I talk more about this Bad Words Box (and other things I learned while in treatment for anxiety and depression) here.

PROMPT

I hope these tools might help you or someone you care about during times of overwhelm. Please let me know in the comments about the tools you use (or hope to use) to combat anxiety, overwhelm, and depression.

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Christine Wolf is the co-author of Politics, Partnerships, & Power: The Lives of Ralph E. and Marguerite Stitt Church (Master Wings Publishing, 2023). She’s a memoir coach and founder of Writers’ Haven LLC. In January 2025, she’ll begin work as a writing instructor at Northwestern University, teaching classes on expressive writing for emotional healing. Get in touch with Christine at christinewolf.com/contact.

*About Reverba
Reverba (formerly Health Perspectives Group) is a global health engagement company that transforms the way healthcare companies think and function, making compliant, patient-centered action possible. Reverba signifies a multiplying force for amplifying the perspectives of patients and the impact of their voices. The word is also rooted in science: REV-ErbA is an essential protein that supports the circadian rhythms of life. Working with more than 30 biopharmaceutical companies over our storied history, they’ve have built lasting relationships with thousands of patients directly, and their programs have reached millions of other patients indirectly, as well. Founded in 2002, they’re headquartered in Seattle, and they have offices in Chicago, New Jersey, and Philadelphia.