You may come to terms with the question, but do you really need that aggravation right now? No, you don't. I would drop that app like a hot potato. You're welcome.
While I know it's a trauma reaction, on balance, I am happy I have hypervigilance on board. Driving/traffic, navigating crowds, judge of character, getting a "vibe," reading a room, spidey sense galore. Typos, patterns, info, semi-photographic memory. I'll take it.
Yes! I like to say I have a breathtakingly accurate overthinker between my two ears. It's served me well in many ways professionally, and not so many ways personally. Definitely it's been a journey and a winding path of self-understanding and compassion.
Christine, thank you for writing this. My heart goes out to you and the childhood you had. I am grateful to you for writing about it here. I am not a child of alcoholic parents, but my dad is a gambler with a volatile and rageful temper -- and nothing is ever his fault. While I've had quite a bit of therapy, no one has ever used the term hypervigilance with me (or I wasn't ready to hear it if they did). But that's what I have! I spent most of my life constantly waiting to hear that I'd done something wrong, that I'd made a mistake, that I was in trouble. It's so much better now, but I still get triggered, like you said. And I've just never known it was an actual thing. So thank you. Sometimes it means so much to know we're not the only ones. ❤️🙏
I'm posting this comment from one of my readers who messaged me privately and kindly agreed to let me share their thoughts anonymously. I hope these comments will help others:
"Hi Christine -- Hope you're doing well. I just read your post and boy can I relate. I think it's great that you're open about this topic as there are many people who will benefit from your post.
I used to go to ACOA and now go to ASCA meetings via ZOOM which I find helpful. I miss in-person meetings though.
Pete Walker's book: C-PTSD From Surviving to Thriving really helps me. He lists what he calls Inner Critic attacks and smack dab in there is Catastrophizing. A friend I knew used to say that I acted like an air traffic controller -- always on the look-out for trouble. It's exhausting. It's SO easy to be triggered by things like that app!
I've been in recovery on and off most of my life so I'm familiar with a lot of what's out there but it wasn't until 2 years ago that I discovered ASCA.
It's a good program. There is a Survivor to Thriver book that you can download from the site with the 21 steps. No sponsors which I miss from 12 step programs. I used to go to Al-Anon meetings too.
Pete Walker is the one I most relate to. He explains what happens to a child when there is ZERO safety, security and support.
There's even a chapter titled: What if I Was Never Hit? which really struck a chord with me. The Inner Critic attacks are spot-on for me and there are Flashback Management tips too. I don't know if you have those. My biggest challenge is anxiety. Ugh.
Yes, feel free to share these resources - a lot of people don't know about ASCA -- they need to promote it more!"
You may come to terms with the question, but do you really need that aggravation right now? No, you don't. I would drop that app like a hot potato. You're welcome.
While I know it's a trauma reaction, on balance, I am happy I have hypervigilance on board. Driving/traffic, navigating crowds, judge of character, getting a "vibe," reading a room, spidey sense galore. Typos, patterns, info, semi-photographic memory. I'll take it.
Yes! I like to say I have a breathtakingly accurate overthinker between my two ears. It's served me well in many ways professionally, and not so many ways personally. Definitely it's been a journey and a winding path of self-understanding and compassion.
Christine, thank you for writing this. My heart goes out to you and the childhood you had. I am grateful to you for writing about it here. I am not a child of alcoholic parents, but my dad is a gambler with a volatile and rageful temper -- and nothing is ever his fault. While I've had quite a bit of therapy, no one has ever used the term hypervigilance with me (or I wasn't ready to hear it if they did). But that's what I have! I spent most of my life constantly waiting to hear that I'd done something wrong, that I'd made a mistake, that I was in trouble. It's so much better now, but I still get triggered, like you said. And I've just never known it was an actual thing. So thank you. Sometimes it means so much to know we're not the only ones. ❤️🙏
I'm posting this comment from one of my readers who messaged me privately and kindly agreed to let me share their thoughts anonymously. I hope these comments will help others:
"Hi Christine -- Hope you're doing well. I just read your post and boy can I relate. I think it's great that you're open about this topic as there are many people who will benefit from your post.
I used to go to ACOA and now go to ASCA meetings via ZOOM which I find helpful. I miss in-person meetings though.
Pete Walker's book: C-PTSD From Surviving to Thriving really helps me. He lists what he calls Inner Critic attacks and smack dab in there is Catastrophizing. A friend I knew used to say that I acted like an air traffic controller -- always on the look-out for trouble. It's exhausting. It's SO easy to be triggered by things like that app!
I've been in recovery on and off most of my life so I'm familiar with a lot of what's out there but it wasn't until 2 years ago that I discovered ASCA.
ASCA is https://ascasupport.org/ - Adult Survivors of Child Abuse.
It's a good program. There is a Survivor to Thriver book that you can download from the site with the 21 steps. No sponsors which I miss from 12 step programs. I used to go to Al-Anon meetings too.
Pete Walker is the one I most relate to. He explains what happens to a child when there is ZERO safety, security and support.
There's even a chapter titled: What if I Was Never Hit? which really struck a chord with me. The Inner Critic attacks are spot-on for me and there are Flashback Management tips too. I don't know if you have those. My biggest challenge is anxiety. Ugh.
Yes, feel free to share these resources - a lot of people don't know about ASCA -- they need to promote it more!"