Optimism isn't a constant for me; it's more like a personal crusade. I envy those for whom contentment comes naturally, and I'm grateful I can always turn to writing to guide me toward well-being.
I appreciate what you are expressing. My mother told me growing up, “Do not compare.” Also, I learned in AA, “Do not compare your insides to others outsides.”
That’s good advice, but it’s only natural to look around us for frames of reference.
I love that you talk about self-acceptance. I have been thinking of that also. And the truth is the more compassion we show ourselves, the more we have for other people. For me, anyway.
It’s exhausted being “a thinker.” I try to give myself breaks. Honestly, I have to!
"even if things don’t make sense and the world is (literally) shut down…I can still turn to writing to find myself…and my soul." - I think this is it, and once "your thing" is found, consider yourself fortunate. Thanks for writing this, Christine!
What stood out to me was what you wrote about the undercurrent, the warning voice. Several of my loved ones live with a voice like that, and it must be so exhausting to deal with. I don't know why I'm optimistic - is it genetic? I do know that my happiness is anchored in my spiritual teachings. Without them, I would look around at the world and find it very difficult to feel hopeful.
Thank you for taking what's in my head and putting it into words. At 53 I was getting established with a new primary care physician who asked me "what makes you happy?". And I dissolved into tears. Because no one (no. one.) ever asked me that. At this stage of life I think so many (American) women are experiencing the same thing- shifting focus off kids and onto ourselves. Maybe we are happy with what we see, but more likely we are not. It's a fascinating time of self reflection, and I can say I am enjoying the process (even through the tears).
Sep 27, 2023·edited Sep 27, 2023Liked by Christine Wolf
Beautifully done and totally worth the time to read and examine. I was totally type A when young. Even as I achieved, I was constantly compared to others. Hard to give that up but necessary. It's just not relevant. When I was 20, I had the opportunity to hang out for 11 days in Mykonos. For the first time in my life I understood what the word RELAX meant. In my mind, I tossed my TYPE A personality overboard. Unfortunately, I discovered, that's not a trait that can be tossed overboard. It resurfaces! I can relate to your mental and emotional processes. Just had a nephew attack me emotionally out of left field. Huh? So I beat myself up for two days and then realized who his parents were and it was shock from what I felt earlier in life from his parents, my parents, etc. Writing for me has always been how I reconnected with self and regain focus, alignment, and that oh so necessary remembering who I am instead of who others want or need me to be. Liked the songs you chose to add to the piece. Hadn't heard either one. I've backed off from achieving and am definitely happier more of the time, but the guilt I could be doing more, better, etc rarely escapes for more than a few hours.
After a mere 70 years, just recently, I found some inner peace I think you’re calling happiness. My suggestion I have is to look up the app called “The Chosen”. Just begin watching the three seasons they produced so far. If you can’t understand a soft Jewish accent, I highly suggest you turn on the close captioning. Enjoy!
I appreciate what you are expressing. My mother told me growing up, “Do not compare.” Also, I learned in AA, “Do not compare your insides to others outsides.”
That’s good advice, but it’s only natural to look around us for frames of reference.
I love that you talk about self-acceptance. I have been thinking of that also. And the truth is the more compassion we show ourselves, the more we have for other people. For me, anyway.
It’s exhausted being “a thinker.” I try to give myself breaks. Honestly, I have to!
Your friend’s assessment of you seems spot on. 😊
"even if things don’t make sense and the world is (literally) shut down…I can still turn to writing to find myself…and my soul." - I think this is it, and once "your thing" is found, consider yourself fortunate. Thanks for writing this, Christine!
What stood out to me was what you wrote about the undercurrent, the warning voice. Several of my loved ones live with a voice like that, and it must be so exhausting to deal with. I don't know why I'm optimistic - is it genetic? I do know that my happiness is anchored in my spiritual teachings. Without them, I would look around at the world and find it very difficult to feel hopeful.
Thank you for taking what's in my head and putting it into words. At 53 I was getting established with a new primary care physician who asked me "what makes you happy?". And I dissolved into tears. Because no one (no. one.) ever asked me that. At this stage of life I think so many (American) women are experiencing the same thing- shifting focus off kids and onto ourselves. Maybe we are happy with what we see, but more likely we are not. It's a fascinating time of self reflection, and I can say I am enjoying the process (even through the tears).
Beautifully done and totally worth the time to read and examine. I was totally type A when young. Even as I achieved, I was constantly compared to others. Hard to give that up but necessary. It's just not relevant. When I was 20, I had the opportunity to hang out for 11 days in Mykonos. For the first time in my life I understood what the word RELAX meant. In my mind, I tossed my TYPE A personality overboard. Unfortunately, I discovered, that's not a trait that can be tossed overboard. It resurfaces! I can relate to your mental and emotional processes. Just had a nephew attack me emotionally out of left field. Huh? So I beat myself up for two days and then realized who his parents were and it was shock from what I felt earlier in life from his parents, my parents, etc. Writing for me has always been how I reconnected with self and regain focus, alignment, and that oh so necessary remembering who I am instead of who others want or need me to be. Liked the songs you chose to add to the piece. Hadn't heard either one. I've backed off from achieving and am definitely happier more of the time, but the guilt I could be doing more, better, etc rarely escapes for more than a few hours.
After a mere 70 years, just recently, I found some inner peace I think you’re calling happiness. My suggestion I have is to look up the app called “The Chosen”. Just begin watching the three seasons they produced so far. If you can’t understand a soft Jewish accent, I highly suggest you turn on the close captioning. Enjoy!