Mental Illness and Youth
What's underneath the pain, and what can we do to support kids with their mental health?
Recently, someone my age wrote, “I wonder why our young people are mentally ill?!”
I am not a mental health professional and I do not give advice about mental health.
I am a journalist, a memoir coach, and someone who regularly writes about living with anxiety and depression due to chronic and complex trauma and complicated grief.
As a writer, my work revolves around listening to the world and sharing its stories. And today, I have something to say.
Since the pandemic began, I’ve been contacted by numerous people who’ve realized they need to tell their life stories. At my last count, I’ve heard from more than 100 people. Every single story involves at least one brush with — if not a debilitating immersion into — emotional crisis, be it a panic attack, a struggle with depression, grief, an anxiety disorder, or managing the aftereffects of addiction and/or abuse.
My clients look like you. Like your neighbors. Like your friends and your relatives. Like your own children.
And what I hear from my younger clients is that they’ve become utterly disillusioned with the world and they want and need to see CHANGE.
Kids Desperate For Change
To achieve change, some have tried what many might consider the *traditional routes* (including advocacy and community activism), yet where they seem to end up is relying on their individual voices to convey their messages and finally achieve a sense of agency and empowerment. Instead of using megaphones, more and more young people are choosing to silently tap their words out on pages, hoping to make as big an impact as possible. It should be noted that these are the kids fortunate enough to be literate.
To be sure, many of my clients have achieved financial independence. They have food on their tables, stable families, and access to therapists and social supports who sustain them when their lives felt (or went) off the rails. They’re the lucky ones who tell their stories of living with emotional struggles and/or mental illness and have overcome unspeakable odds.
And yet, some of my clients do not have such luxuries, especially the younger ones. One, in particular, has been on the precipice of financial ruin, working hard and scraping by, desperate to let the world know what it’s like to be scared and uncertain and battling anxiety and depression; determined to help others see there are other sides to life than what we scroll past on Facebook and Snapchat and Instagram and TikTok. I work with this client on a pro-bono basis.
Navigating life in these times is, for many of us, already incredibly hard. But imagine for a moment what it’s like to be young and reliant on others who do not see you or keep you safe. Imagine what it’s like to feel untethered, invisible, cornered, and hopeless. To feel isolated, to lack resources, to feel scared and powerless. To not even know how to ask for what you need.
Adverse Childhood Experiences
If you’ve ever heard of an ACE score, you know the profound impact childhood trauma has on an individual.
ACEs (or Adverse Childhood Experiences) are, according to the CDC, “potentially traumatic events that occur in childhood (0–17 years). For example:
• experiencing violence, abuse, or neglect
• witnessing violence in the home or community
• having a family member attempt or die by suicide”
The CDC’s description continues to say:
“Also included are aspects of the child’s environment that can undermine their sense of safety, stability, and bonding, such as growing up in a household with:
• substance use problems
• mental health problems
• instability due to parental separation or household members being in jail or prison”
And that’s not even a comprehensive list.
According to the CDC, “ACEs are linked to chronic health problems, mental illness, and substance use problems in adolescence and adulthood. ACEs can also negatively impact education, job opportunities, and earning potential. However, ACEs can be prevented.”
But how?
The CDC says, “To prevent ACEs, we must understand and address the factors that put people at risk for or protect them from violence. Creating and sustaining safe, stable, nurturing relationships and environments for all children and families can prevent ACEs and help all children reach their full potential. CDC has produced a resource, Preventing Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs): Leveraging the Best Available Evidence, to help states and communities use the best available evidence to prevent ACEs. It features six strategies from the CDC Technical Packages to Prevent Violence.” I’ve added a resource link to this post.
Begging For Our Attention
Many ask, “How can we help youth with their emotional pain?” but the first questions we should ask are, “What’s causing kids so much mental anguish?” and “How can we help prevent it in the first place?”
It’s hardly news that mental illness in this country needs to be addressed, particularly for our youngest citizens who’ve been exposed to unimaginable tragedy and experienced unfathomable upheaval. Kids may not tell you how hard it’s been for them, but I’m here to tell you they’re feeling it, they’re eager to be seen, and they’re begging for our attention.
Here’s some info about ACEs. Please take the time to learn about their impact on our children.
https://www.cdc.gov/violencepreven.../pdf/preventingACES.pdf
Christine, I keep thinking about this post and about this problem.
I am not okay (https://findinghome.substack.com/p/i-am-not-okay?s=w). So many of us adults are not okay. We are overwhelmed and hurting. Naturally, our children are hurting too. Kids have less defenses, less emotional walls. If we are struggling to cope, how can they be expected to?
Mental illness certainly exists. I personally know three teenage girls (all whom I consider family) who are struggling with real illness.
And
I can't help feeling that more prevalent is a lack of regard for mental health. How do we nurture our children before they become overwhelmed? How do we provide them with tools to survive in the midst of so much pain and uncertainty? How do we do all this when we, ourselves, need the same kind of support?
I don't have the answers but the questions are heavy on my mind.
The world has gotten so big and this has affected all of us. There are benefits, yes, to knowing what's going on around the world - and there are also huge consequences as well to have so much information so quickly. It's overwhelming, even to adults.
I hope I don't offend anyone with this analogy but I can't help thinking of how we crate-train puppies. Puppies are so small and helpless and also curious. A puppy, even a newly adopted dog, really benefits from crate-training. Even when they whine. Without crate training, the house is too big. There's too much to explore on their own and it is overwhelming to be left in such a big space alone. This leads to big issues - anxiety that results in damage to the house but also anxiety in the pup that is difficult to reverse.
If done correctly, the dog will be happy to go to their crate when you leave, and they will sleep. And eventually return to their crate as a place of comfort and refuge sometimes even when you're home.
We are now living in a house that is too big. Our children are overwhelmed. We cannot monitor their contact with the outside world. Somehow, we need to shrink this contact, though. It's too much.
I have a niece who was profoundly impacted by 9/11, just by watching it on TV. (her mental health struggle can largely be linked back to this moment - and her struggle has been severe, including years of drugs, therapy, and even shock treatments)
Her parents ALWAYS have the news on. Of course, we don't want to shield our children from everything, it's important that they understand death and such, but we can limit their exposure. I can't help thinking my niece's parents should have been much more conscious of all that news every day, during every waking moment. Maybe as adults they could handle it (tho truth be told, her mother has suffered as well yet still won't turn it off), but children definitely can't. They are still tender and take everything in and then - there are no tools for processing what they hear and what they see.
Of course there are many things to consider in this epidemic of declining mental health in children. I just think we not considering the world-is-too-big theory enough.
Our parents struggled with world wars, yes, but not until Vietnam did we actually see photos and footage of the carnage. Now we see that same stuff regularly in social media, movies, and on TV. :(